Apartment all to myself

Spring break has officially started and I have my apartment, pretty much, all to myself. My last roommate leaves for Tampa tomorrow morning. I have dedicated today to relaxing and getting personal things done since I have been working like a dog between work on the computer and school work. So today is all about cleaning my apartment, taking care of myself, and just enjoying alone time.

Revelation at 1:50 AM

As I'm sitting here not being able to fall asleep because I'm too focused on listening to music, I had a revelation. It might not seem very big or important, but it's something I pinpointed about myself that I could never really properly name.

I interpret almost everything sentimentally, even when it's something that I don't have a reason to hold close to my heart. Is there a name for that?

The Woman In Black

Ok, I'm going to play movie critic for a minute here.

To stop myself from being such a debbie downer, I will say that the entire movie wasn't terrible. The setting and the scenery in this movie is absolutely amazing. It set a perfect backdrop for the premise of this film. Daniel Radcliffe was also a wonderful actor, as were the other actors and actresses. Now, onto my overwhelmingly negative thoughts.

This movie was not scary. Unless you consider random shit popping up in your face scary. I read the reviews when I got home just for the hell of it and I was so disappointed. Everyone seems to love it. Great plot? Are you kidding me? It's just like any other ghost story. The dead woman wants revenge and starts terrorizing the town. Wow, real original.

And the ending? I thought it was dumb. The only thing I liked was that it was left open to interpretation a little bit and I do enjoy movies that leave you thinking. However, that was the only part that really makes you think. The rest is just a long, boring drive to a house, some people die, the people try to help, and everything still sucks. I won't give away the ending in case anyone reads this and still intends to go see it. At least go on free movie Tuesdays so you don't have to pay for it. Enjoy the England scenery because it is beautiful, but leave your expectations far from the theater.

Self awareness

is a pretty powerful thing. I mean, people talk about it all the time. It's all over "traditional" social networking websites like Facebook and less "traditional" websites like Pinterest and Tumblr. Even though most people will mindlessly share, post, retweet, reblog, repin, and retwoddle those quotes or images because they sound important and smart, I look deeper than that. It never occurred to me that I might figure out the art of being able to pinpoint emotions and deeply ingrained traits within yourself and control them to ultimately better yourself.

Bettering yourself. That in itself boggles my mind. I wonder every day how many other people have actually become hyper aware of themselves and took steps to be a better human being. Then I think about how many people could care less and it is slightly dampening on my own efforts. Not because it hinders my ability to move forward, but because when I accomplish something like this, I unrealistically want everyone else to feel the revelation. I still haven't quite figured out that trait of mine.

So, these quotes always find a way of staying with me far past the initial time I see them. They make me think and I love anything that can provoke countless thoughts past a surface value. I see things way beneath the surface and that is something I would never try to change. Digging deep into myself and figuring out what's underneath, what I was raised to be, who tries to influence me to be a certain way and has somewhat succeeded. All of these details add up and have created the personality I am dissecting right now. There are certain things I would never want to change or even improve on consciously, but there are plenty more traits that I would love to eradicate completely.

I guess the point of all this is I love to understand things and learn how to manipulate them to achieve what I want. Manipulate sounds like such a conniving word, but I like it. Manipulating something can be entirely too easy or one of the hardest tasks you ever attempt. Manipulating something can be as simple as moving your body a specific way or as difficult as understanding the way someone works and using your own intellect and control to bring out of them whatever it is you want to achieve. That still sounds a little maniacal, but it doesn't have to be. It can be an entirely innocent gesture that many people cannot appreciate but that I entirely respect.

Being aware is definitely a trait I would like to see more or at all in anyone and everyone that I know.

Search Engine Evaluator

Jumping head first into the online marketing industry has produced quite a few interesting opportunities for me recently. A fresh, new industry is quite the breath of exciting air. I am learning so much information is such a short period of time that I feel like the possibilities could be endless. I already landed a writing internship to help build an online portfolio for my work. Now I'm in the process of taking an exam to evaluate google search results for users. These niches all fill a different part of the industry but are giving me the best well-rounded education for a career here that it's insane. I love it. I passed part one of the qualification exam. It'll be on to part II tomorrow.

NEGLECT

I have been lazy with writing lately. My life has just been a consistent wave of work for the past couple of weeks. I've been working so hard that it is difficult to enjoy down time at this point!

My first semester of my final year of college is coming to a close. I'm pretty much half way through and it feels great. It is such a nice feeling to know that I'll have a degree shortly, despite the fact that I will not be pursuing a career in this field full time. Regardless, I will be taking a lot away from my four years at Centenary. Hopefully I will be able to say the same once I choose a school for my master's degree in whatever floats my boat at that point.

Riding has also been fantastic. I love my instructor this semester. I feel strong and secure in the saddle. I would still love to strengthen my lower leg a lot more over fences but other than that, I'm pretty happy. I LOVE my new saddle and it is everything I wanted. It is breaking in incredibly nicely. I am moving up to a new level for my final semester and I will be able to ride some of the horses I've been wanting to ride since I was a freshman. There is a fun variety of horses in this level so I am excited.

So I am not happy

about being risen out of my bed this morning by a deafening fire alarm and almost having a heart attack, but it actually worked out in my favor. I love my sleep, don't get me wrong, but it's nice to be up early. Everything is so serene and dead quiet, productivity is usually a given. A nice, hot cup of tea just topped it all off.

The rest of my day has not been so fantastic. I am getting so sick and am in a lot of pain. Fortunately I might be getting some new pony stuff later so that's exciting. Trying to stay positive. :)